Fun Time With Sousuke And Kaname
by dave-d
Summary: With a new game called the Fun Cube, our hero and heroine will have oodles of fun, right?


_Here's a short and simple piece._

**Enjoy.**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A beam of sunlight, making dust motes sparkle like diamonds, shone dead center on the small table top.

Sousuke and Kaname sat across from one another, staring down at a large silver box-like shape, a gleaming silver stylus in each of their young hands.

The flower pot, displaced from the table, sat over on the floor, next to the package that the device came wrapped in. Next to those were the plastic wrappings rapidly removed from the dozen C-batteries that powered the game.

"Can we play now, mister?" Sarcasm practically dripped from Kaname's tongue. She was tapping one foot quickly, and the fingers on one hand even quicker.

"It _never_ hurts to be cautious," Sousuke replied, squinting as he read small print on a diminutive booklet. "In fact, while warfare may seem inherently chaotic, it is often advantageous to plays things safe. "As Sun Tzu once wrote, 'the general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand'."

"_Ooo-oo-o,"_ Kaname said, slapping one hand hard against the table top. The heavy box managed to jump up ever so much, and a palm-print remained in the otherwise sturdy varnish. "If you take much longer, I'll find something _else_ to do, and you can play with yourself!" She harumphed loudly, startling a small rodent scrambling across the spotless floor in a well-worn hamster ball.

"Uhhh-" Sousuke put down the booklet after reading the instruction in Chinese, Japanese, English, and French. He had wanted to make certain that there were no suspicious discrepancies. There were four more languages to go. "Kaname? You sound like Mao…."

"What?" Kaname turned up her nose. She didn't necessarily want to think about Mithril then and there. Wait. _How_ did she sound like the foul-mouthed woman? She blinked rapidly, her mind latching hold of a certain euphemism. **"SOUSUKE!"**

"Kaname?" Sousuke, of course, was clueless. He was confused as to why the blue-haired girl might suggest masturbation, especially since that would delay the start of the game further, not to mention that they did not share that level of intimacy. Too influenced by his two bawdy squad-mates, he had naturally overlooked the mildest and most common usage of the phrase.

"Let's just play the game!" Kaname was red in the face. Even the world's most observant man or woman couldn't guess how much of the color came from shock… from exasperation… or from maidenly embarrassment. "Just set the game to 'English.' Push the 'on' button."

"I should get my 'sniffer' first," Sousuke said, pushing back from the table. He was referring to a small Black Technology tool that could sample the air around a person, place, or thing, and see if there was any evidence of explosive residue or radioactivity. "If the store that we purchased the game at is actually an Amalgam front, then-"

_**WHAM.**_

Kaname's chair had tipped over violently and struck the floor. The hamster ball shot away like it had left the barrel of an old black powder cannon. Kaname stood irate, hands at her hips and fire in her eyes. She brought one hand up and formed a fist. She shook it with unmistakable menace. "Game. Now. Sousuke. Or I will punch you in_ your_ sniffer!"

"It is just a game," Sousuke said, feeling no fear. He was more concerned that Kaname might burst an aneurysm, if she had one, or stomp off without him, and therefore more vulnerable than she need be.

"Sun Tzu's suffering wife said 'It's not a game if we don't _play_ it!" Kaname dared Sousuke with her gaze. She dared him to even open his mouth, much less mention whether or not his beloved Sun guy had been married, or if that man's wife might never had said that.

Sousuke shrugged. He might still be clueless, but the bumps and bruises he had accumulated since settling in Tokyo had taught him something. He held his tongue. Barely. Reaching over, he turned the game on its side… toggled a switch that set the language… and pushed a button that powered up the box.

DOO-DOOO-DOO-DOO-DOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The sound of tiny trumpets filled the room.

"Welcome to Fun Cube," an amplified mechanical voice said, unisex and spritely to the extreme. After some contrived pleasantries, and a few digs for other company products, the voice explained the first game. "Four of the total boxes will light up. Each will show tiny versions of all twenty-six letters. Tapping on a single letter will enact the player's choice. A four-letter word should be chosen as an answer to the question. The timer will start at one minute, and will shorten as the game goes along. Player One will do the first question. Player Two the next. Both players will share points from the third question. The cycle will then repeat."

"Sounds simple enough," Kaname said. She was far from clueless. But, knowing what she did of hers and the Sergeant's combustive and cantamkerous continuity, she sounded as naïve as a babe in swaddling clothes. _"I_ will be player 'A'," she said with a chuckle, "Since I usually get 'A's.' _You_ will be player 'F'…."

"Kaname," Sousuke said, cocking his head. "The game said 'One' and 'Two,' not 'A' and 'F'." He hadn't caught her sly joke. "I don't know if we can reprogram it. I have a solder gun and-"

"**SOUSUKE!"** Kaname reaped what she had sowed, but of course took no share of the blame. _"Oooo-ooo-o_… just push the button again, to start the game.

Sousuke pushed the button with his stylus.

DOO-DOOO-DOO-DOO-DOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Player One. Your question," the game voice said. "A dense element. One minute."

"Hmmm," Kaname said, eyes narrowed. "I know my answer. What about you, soldier?"

"I-" Sousuke looked Kaname's face over, seeking any hint of an ulterior motive. "Are you stumped? Are you trying to trick me into answering your question?" He swallowed hard. He knew _that_ look! "Uranium is the heaviest element. So the answer must be bomb. B-O-M-B."

Kaname was speechless for ten seconds. She fought down a shout and twenty possible incredulous replies. "A bomb is not an element," she managed calmly. "The question was dense, not heavy. Don't make things too easy for me, OK?" She sighed. "The densest element is Osmium. But this will be the correct answer." She used the stylus and typed in L… E… A… D.

"Correct!" The machine answered when the time expired, followed by the sound of a beautiful fanfare. "Ten points for Player One. Get ready Player Two."

"Affirmative," Sousuke said, momentarily feeling as if he were responding to Al, his trusty Arm Slave A.I. "Mission ready."

DOO-DOOO-DOO-DOO-DOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Player Two. Your question." The box 'spoke' again. "The meat of a pig is."

"Simple," Sousuke stated. He scratched behind one ear for a moment, wondering if his spelling was correct. English was a tricky language in many ways. He typed in T… A… B… U.

"Um," Kaname frowned. She should just stay silent. But, she felt a surge of compassion and cooperation. "I think you should rethink your answer."

"Negative," Sousuke said. "I may not follow the teachings of Islam, but I remember what I was taught as a child." He folded his arms across his chest, stylus resting behind one ear. The timer ticked down in metronomic fashion.

ERNNNNNNN-NNNNNN-NNNNN-NNNN-NNN-NN-N-T

The raucous and loud buzzer had Kaname jumping up slightly. That was worse than fingernails on a blackboard!

"Incorrect," the game said. "The correct answer is." The spaces lit up again, this time with P,O,R, and K glowing. "Zero points."

"But-" Sousuke felt foolish. "Both answers are correct. The game should-"

"The word you wanted was T… A… B… O…and O." Kaname said.

"I see," Sousuke said, nonplussed. It was, after all, just a game. There was no reason to get upset or overly excited, right?

DOO-DOOO-DOO-DOO-DOOOO-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Both players now," the game resumed. "Here is a clue." The second box lit up with the letter 'O.' "What is the thing most children remember from their early years."

"Easy peezy, lemon squeezy." Kaame spun her stylus around her fingers, and then tapped in L… O… V… and E. "I should get more points than you, but half is better than none. _Hmmmpppfff."_

"There are no points for an incorrect answer," Sousuke claimed. "We have already seen that." Love? He had no memory of love from his childhood days. He was too locked into his personal experiences, and was not playing the game in the strategic manner. He typed in B… O… O… and M.

"No!" Kaname shook her head. "You mistaken…." She typed in L. "…melancholy…." She typed in O. "…military…." She typed in V. "…Moron." She typed in E. "B-O-O-M is _definitely_ wrong wrong wrong."

"Negative," Sousuke said, beginning to type. "It _has_ to be B-O-O-M. Because B-A-N-G does not have an O!" He was a bit surprised to detect a bit of heat in his response. That, and the slight awakening of a competitive spirit.

"It's L-O-V-E, mister!" Kaname felt more than a little heat. And, _her_ body make up was sixty-percent water and forty-percent competitiveness. "There is no B-A-N-G or B-O-O-M in childhood!" She forgot who she was talking to. She typed in her letters quickly with great force.

"There is nothing _but_ B-A-N-G and B-O-O-M," Sousuke countered, typing in his word.

"_Oooo-ooo-oo-o_," Kaname stood up, and pounded away with her stylus. "L-O-V-E!"

"B-O-O-M!" Sousuke stood too. He fought the urge to replace his stlylus with the combat knife strapped to his right leg.

"L-O-V-E!" Kaname said, typing.

"B-O-O-M!" Sousuke returned fire. He felt sweat drops. He was truly on edge. He was over-reacting. Why? He was rarely like this on the job. But, this was not professional, it was playtime. There would be time for a self-diagnostic...later.

Faster and faster. Harder and harder. Louder and louder. The two teens were a blur, torturing the Fun Cube in the most inhumane way imaginable. The timer never had the opportunity to run its course.

_**BAMMMMMFFFFF**__**-**__**FFFF**__**-**__**FFF**__**-**__**FF**__**-**__**F**_

Circuits fried. Batteries overheated. Proprietary and secret components were stressed beyond any conceiveable tolerances. The game exploded. Sousuke's hair was coated with small glittering pieces of silver plastic, making him look like a 70s glam rock musician or an over-eager Disco Boy. Kaname worked quickly to pull two steaming batteries out from their destination in her blouse, juggling them like hot potatoes. A large scorch mark sat in the center of the table.

"See," Sousuke said smugly. "I was correct. *Boom*"

Without speaking, Kaname wound up like she was standing on the pitcher's mound, batteries in hand.


End file.
